24 weeks

Its been a bit since I wrote an update. Figured I’d do one this week since we made it to viability! This was always a big milestone for me because I felt like if something happened or I had preterm labor they would at least try and save the baby. Kind of morbid? Maybe. Just how my brain works. I don’t think it’s because of my loss because I remember feeling this way with Eli too. Probably just more aware of what happens these days. 

The last few weeks have been interesting. We are on day 11 of quarantine from COVID-19. Even though we stayed at home, wore masks when we went out, and weren’t around groups of people somehow Ben came down with covid then Kyle 3 days later and me 3 days later than that. Eli got a headache a few days later but no fever. So we are just trying to get through the sickness. It’s exhausting though. 

There are lots of pregnant women on my birth month group that have gotten it. I’m curious what kind of antibodies Callahan will have since I’ve had covid now?? He’s gonna be a super baby. 

On to the pregnancy update:

Movement- lots...Definite wake and sleep cycles now. I’m getting tired of getting kicked in the cervix lol. It may be punches cause I’m pretty sure he’s still head down. I love waking up and feeling him move and Ben getting to share in it. It’s my favorite time of the day. Since it’s my last baby I’m just trying to savor it. 

Symptoms: I feel huge already and am tired. Sleeping is sometimes hard cause my right hip hurts. I’ve been doing some pregnancy exercises for it and that helps. 

Weight- I think I’m still up around 20lbs. It would have been more but sickness affected that. So that’s good. I really don’t want to gain more than 30. 

Cravings: well I can’t taste or smell anything (thank you covid) so eating isn’t much fun. 

In other news I got a Doula! I’m so excited! I just really wanted the support this time. I don’t know because of covid or what but I just felt like we needed one this time. I would like to go natural if I can and I know a doula will help with that! And just be support for Ben and I. With so many babies being born in the coming months I think it will be nice to have someone dedicated to just helping us. 

I have a growth ultrasound next week and OB appt so I’ll update more then! 

19 weeks and gender reveal!

19 weeks! Just about half way! My babies have all come early in the 38th week we will go with being halfway...

Had my anatomy scan this week which almost didn’t happen because we had a freak snowstorm in October with 5 inches of snow and a 50 degree temp drop. It was 80 Saturday...But I prayed hard and God made a way. It was mostly melted by my 1pm apt. 

Baby is healthy and everything looks great. And it’s a boy!! So thankful for another little baby boy to take care of. I really do love boys...but we are gonna need a bigger house cause boys are loud...lol 

He is a big boy in 94% percentile and a big head. He was 11oz already and measuring a week ahead. He has been about a week ahead in my last 2 ultrasounds too. I get another ultrasound in 6 weeks. He loved having his hands in front of his face most of the time. I think he looks like Eli. Same nose. 

I have an anterior placenta afterall. I was kind of wondering since I only feel kicks on the sides mostly. Ben finally got to feel him kick for the first time the other morning I was so happy for him. 

Symptoms: getting more tired and harder to move around. But other than that I feel great I’m very thankful.

Movement: getting more consistent. Some days he’s still pretty quiet but on ultrasound he moves a lot so I probably just don’t feel it. 

Cravings: OJ still. Palmento cheese and crackers. 

Weight gain: I haven’t weighed this week but I’m assuming around 17lb. 

Next appt is Nov 13. 

17 weeks and dr appt

Had an appointment today and everything went great. Baby is super active my midwife said as she was chasing for the heartbeat. It was ranging from high 140’s to low 150’s. Got my thyroid bw drawn like I do every 6 weeks. My bp was still a bit high 143/77 but I was rushing to get there and maybe sat for 5 min. Plus breathing in a mask makes it hard too.  My midwife is moving so she referred me to who she thinks would be best for me and that is an OBnin the same office. I’m fine with that cause I still get a midwife for delivery as long as everything goes well and no C-section. So other updates this week:

Movement: a lot more consistent I also felt from

The outside once this week. 

Cravings: blt’s still lol and just protein in general and chocolate 

Symptoms: just fatigue at the end of the day like I fall

asleep by 8:30pm. I’m also having strange dreams which according to my baby app happens around now. I am hungry a lot too but trying to eat as healthy as I can and still gluten-free like I have for the past 6 years. It helps me a lot. 

Exercise: barre3 and walking and trying to get as many house projects done as I can while I still feel good and can bend over.  

Weight- I kept track of this all my other pregnancies I realized so I guess I will this time too. +14lb from Pre-pregnancy

10 days till my anatomy scan and gender reveal!! Can’t wait! That will be my next update probably. 

16 weeks

Haven’t taken my 16 week pic yet but here was from just a few days ago. 

Well so much for doing weekly updates lol. I feel like time has gone by fast since my last update. I guess once you start feeling better and enjoying life again the weeks go by faster.  I honestly can’t believe I’m 16 weeks already!

Symptoms: honestly I feel great. I’m not nauseous anymore since about 14 weeks and I’m working out 3 times a week and walking the other days. I do Barre3 for my workouts and I’ve been doing that for almost a year and my body is very happy with it. My allergies are going crazy right now. But I have those usually anyways. I get allergy shots and that helps. 

I did have a weird symptom today where my heart rate was pretty high just standing and waking around like 130 and I felt really tired and breathless. I think it was low salt though cause my MIL who’s a nurse suggested eating something salty and drinking water and that helped. It was odd though and triggered my anxiety today. I just don’t do well with my own health problems lol. I also go to bed at like 8pm every night cause I’m so tired and my belly just wants to rest lol.

Movement: baby is definitely more active or just bigger and I can feel it more and I absolutely love it! It helps with the reassurance that he/she is doing ok. Though some days I hardly feel the baby at all and other days a lot so I look forward to it being more consistent and feeling it from the outside so the boys can feel it too. I felt it around 16 weeks with Eli so it should be soon. I did get an at home dopplar so they could hear the heartbeat and they liked that. 

Cravings: still fresh fruit and today it was avocado toast with tomatoes and turkey bacon.. also chocolate ice cream. Lol oh and still orange juice too. 

Only a few more weeks till my gender ultrasound and I can hardly wait! We will either confirm or deny the at home sneak peek blood test I did at 8 weeks... we will see!! 

12 Weeks and Ultrasound

Weekly updates are so fun even if I don’t get to them each week. Reaching 11 and now 12 weeks feels like such a milestone after my loss at 10.5 weeks. I went and had an elective ultrasound since we don’t do the genetic testing I wanted to see baby and did a “peace of mind” ultrasound. Isn’t it so cool they do that?! It’s about the cost of my copay for the Dr so I thought why not?! They didn’t have that option when I was pregnant with the boys. 

But here are a few bump pictures first: 

11 weeks

12 weeks

Here is a comparison shot from Kyle at 15 weeks...lol

13 weeks with Eli.

So definitely getting bigger faster but that’s expected with baby #3.

So here are some ultrasound pics from today. 

Heart rate was 168. Baby just loved snuggling up to my placenta and wouldn’t turn over so we got its backside lol. It loved stretching its legs out. Everything looked great! She even said the nuchal folds look good! So thankful for healthy baby so far.

This place was so cool with a cough and a real bed for the mom. I want to take the boys in a few months so they can see it since they can’t come to any of my appointments and this place allows 3 people! My mom and Ben’s mom came with me today and they loved it. 

Symptoms:

Morning sickness is much better but I randomly lost my breakfast this morning and that leaves me tired and feeling bad all day even though I woke up feeling fine and worked out... it’s so weird. I have never thrown up during a pregnancy no matter how nauseous I felt and this time I’ve done it twice but not after feeling nauseous it just comes out of nowhere.  But here’s to hoping this is the last time now I’m so close to the 2bd trimester. 

I have been able to cook again though so my family appreciates that. 

Allergies and stuffy nose have been BAD. Could be the crazy wind we’ve had too.

I still wake up hungry many nights and to pee at least 3 times. Poor Ben said he’s gonna start sleeping on the couch after a particularly restless night poor guy. 

Some days I’m exhausted and other days I do ok.

Cravings:

Orange juice settles my stomach in the morning weird I know. I also have made banana nut pancakes twice this week lol. And had turkey sandwiches on a bagel at least twice too. 

Movement: 

I’ve been feeling baby flutter the last week and it’s getting more frequent! It was confirmed on ultrasound cause the baby was kicking on my left side where I have been feeling it most! So that’s really exciting. They said my placenta is posterior like with Eli and I felt him around the same time. Kyle was weeks later with an anterior placenta. 

10 Weeks

So fun we got to announce our pregnancy on the interwebs this week. I decided I wanted to to before my 10 week appointment because if it didn't go well I didn't want to feel how I did last time like I wanted to post about my loss but couldn't because no one knew. I'm really glad I did. Everyone was so kind and supportive. I got texts and messages with people congratulating and offering their baby things. It was wonderful.

I had a good 10 weeks appointment today I'm happy to report :) I'm going to  a new hospital and OB office than all my previous births because things have changed in the last 10 years and this hospital is the best for having a midwife. Actually the other hospital doesn't allow midwives at all anymore which is such a shame. God completely worked it out because I didn't have the right insurance to the hospital I wanted but because of COVID I was able to switch to the insurance my work offers which is for the hospital I wanted. Thank you Lord!! So that is one blessing for me personally from COVID.

I had to see an OB for my first appointment because I'm 35 (insert eye roll here)...which I found out really doesn't mean anything for me cause I'm healthy thankfully. He was great though and did a quick ultrasound to check on baby to ease my fears. It was a huge blessing. And he said I can switch to a midwife if I'd like. I'm really excited about the midwife I'm going to see next time. She's a naturopath too!! 

So I'm over the moon excited today with the good report. I celebrated by buying some maternity shorts and a bella band cause nothing fits anymore.

Symptoms: HUNGRY, nausea isn't constant anymore thank goodness, TIRED. I want to go to bed at like 8pm

Movement: None yet. Hoping I will feel the baby soon!

Cravings: Fresh fruit and veggies. Everything bagels with cream cheese and smoked salmon and tomato and cucumber....it's all very specific. It's like if that sounds good I better eat it cause nothing else does.

Exercise: Barre3 and walks!

I will post a bump date comparison soon too. 

Next appt is September 18th

9 Weeks

I will be 10 weeks on Thursday and this week I've been thinking more about how I lost baby Peanut around this time. They said the baby only measured 8.5 weeks and I started spotting at 10.5 weeks. I also have my first appointment on Thursday. I'm praying for some type of reassurance that everything is going ok. I opted to not go to CareNet for an ultrasound last week. I know they do free ones starting at 9 weeks but I really felt like it would make me more nervous than be comforting because then what? Would I feel I couldn't be content unless I have an ultrasound? I'm still feeling sick, still hungry, belly still growing as far as I can tell so at this point I just have to trust God and rest in His peace. He has been so faithful to give me that peace that surpasses all understanding and I will continue holding on to Him.  I also think it's comforting for me to just rest in Him. I literally have not control over what happens to this baby. I know before that would have caused anxiety and it may in the future, but it's really freeing for me. I can pray hard and trust God. 

One fun thing this week is we got our Sneak Peek DNA test back and it says we are having a boy. I was dissapointed for a bit and then I was just excited. Same thing happened with Eli. We've had to figure out a boy name though cause we didn't have any boy names. We had a girl name picked though. We know the boys name needs to have an "L" in it but not start with "L". I searched on Baby Center and that gave me 32,000 names to look through lol. We do have a couple top contenders but no solid decision. Ben and I don't agree on things too easily cause we are both so stubborn so when we find one we both like it usually sticks lol. 
Cravings: fruit and fresh stuff, pretty much anything that sounds appetizing at the moment I just eat it. Cause alot of stuff doesn't sound good but it changes everyday.

God works in mysterious ways

So it's the year 2020 the year that "Rona" came. At the beginning of 2020 I chose a word for the year like I do every year. This year God gave me the word "joy"; and because I'm me I instantly thought "oh great what trial is God going to allow me to endure where I have to have joy..." But I know that isn't what God's character is like. So I then thought well maybe He wants me to use the joy I have to bring joy to others like my family. Then Rona hit and it seemed like maybe having joy despite the hardships of being quarantined to my house with the boys and Ben for months was how I needed to have joy. But then something very unexpected happened. Just yesterday in fact. I found out I was pregnant....

Now at first I was like...WTH!? Totally not expecting that. But ok God what are you doing now?? So I immediately called Ben who was out of town at the time. He didn't even have a clue I had gotten a test. My period is usually early or right on time. So when it's a day late even I start wondering. And sure enough...the stick said "pregnant"...So anyways, when I called Ben he just started laughing...I was totally caught off guard. I thought he would be mad. We have been making plans for how we will do more together now that the boys are getting older and looking forward to our life as empty nesters...But then he laughed, and he said that he had been having dreams again about baby peanut and he wondered what it would have been like. Baby peanut would be 2 years old by now. But he said he didn't wonder enough to try to get pregnant...again, "try?" What is that...we've never tried for once in our lives...I know that that idea is probably really difficult for those who try for years to have a baby and are unable. I cannot begin to imagine the pain that causes. But that simply has not been our story.

But I feel a lot of peace this time. Last time I was so anxious and apprehensive and not at all prepared. This time I feel a lot of peace and joy. My attitude is going to be that I will love this baby each day that God allows, whether that be for days, weeks, months, or years. I'm also going to work on not getting too ahead of myself and doing a lot of "planning" because I think that's where a lot of my disappointment came last time. I'm not going to think ahead to what month or time of year I'll be 20 weeks, or any of that. I'm going to take it one day at a time. But I am thankful for this life and excited at the possibility of another baby. I trust God with His plan whatever it may be. And maybe it was for this to be the year of joy :)

It's good to remember all that makes us who we are

I decided to go ahead and publish the blog posts I had created with the baby I lost because I want to be able to go back and remember that time. It was an important time in my life and I grew and learned a lot about God and myself. I was changed through it and it also may bring comfort to others.

Almost 8 weeks

Well I'm almost 8 weeks now and I definitely am bigger already this time around... I guess that's what  6 years does to you. LOL.

I looked back at this time with Eli and I pretty much feel the same. I'm tired and take a short nap in the afternoon. I'm hungry and nauseous at the same time from after breakfast to
after dinner. Sleep is pretty good.

I definitely feel more nervous about having a miscarriage or maybe I didn't share those feelings as much with Eli if I did have them. I think because the boys are emotionally invested I worry about how they would take it it. But above all I know God is in control and I trust His plan. Also that our greatest time of growth is through trials. You just always want to protect your kids from pain as much as you can because you love them so much.

The boys were thrilled when we told them. I'll post the video it's precious. They pray for Little Peanut every day to keep growing bigger and they ask me what size fruit he or she is lol.

Ben is looking forward to having a baby cause he loves babies and of course al our family is thrilled. I forgot to mention at 6 weeks we got to see the baby and hear the heartbeat on the ultrasound already. It was pretty amazing. I had a lot of anxiety the morning of the appt and was really having a hard time not wanting to go through all that anxiety and depression and stuff I went through after Eli and those feelings were just intense reminding me of it. But after the appt all the fear went away. I still have my doubts at time and don't want to think to far ahead and get my hopes up but I want to try and enjoy this time too. Not much to enjoy in the first trimester but I'm doing my best. And the joy I see on my kids faces when they talk about having a baby makes it worth it :)

Hmmm....I think I'll start blogging again

I wonder if people stopped blogging because the pace of life has increased so much in the last 8 years?  When I started this blog almost 9 years ago there were tons of people blogging.  That was before facebook and instagram go so popular.  Now you can share your story through pictures in just seconds on instagram, or go live on FB and show it in real-time.  Pretty amazing how things have changed. I decided to come back to the slow-paced world of blogging because in the past 9 years since I started it and in the past 4 since I stopped I've enjoyed coming back to see posts about being pregnant with both my boys and seeing them go from infants, to babies, to toddler, and little boys.

It seemed only fitting that I should start blogging again when I found out I was pregnant with surprise baby #3 this week...at 32 years old...6 years after having baby #2.  I was joking with my husband the other day that I already have my answer for the "Was this baby planned?" question.  The answer to that question about all my kids was, "Planned by God, not by us."  Now I know that isn't always the case for everyone.  Many people try for years to get pregnant and can't.  Many people spend $$$ on IUI and IVF and adoption to have just one baby.  I love all my kids and always wanted to be a mom.  I am a planner by nature and like to be in control so I just think it's funny how God has made all my babies a surprise....We were not planning for baby #3 but we are so excited and blessed that God decided to give us another baby.

Things will definitely be different this time around. I'm older, but so are my kids...I don't have two under two anymore. I have a 6 and 8 year old that can help out alot more around the house.  They empty the dishwasher every morning, they do their own laundry (score!!), they could easily make themselves breakfast, lunch, and dinner, if they needed to....Which they shouldn't, but you know, it's an option... They are also in school all day long which will help me out alot with being pregnant and adjusting to a newborn.

Ben is surprisingly excited about it and is looking forward to enjoying the baby more since when the boys were born he was in grad school and working full-time...he doesn't remember much.  I always feel like I got jipped with Eli as a baby cause I was so sick because of my thyroid issues.

Being older I also have such a different perspective on life and raising kids.  I think I will be alot more laid back because I've been through it already twice and I've been through alot of other things that have challenged my faith in God and my trust in His plan and care for me.  So I know however things turn out with this God's in control, He wants what's best for me and I can trust Him with this next season in my life.