9 Weeks

I will be 10 weeks on Thursday and this week I've been thinking more about how I lost baby Peanut around this time. They said the baby only measured 8.5 weeks and I started spotting at 10.5 weeks. I also have my first appointment on Thursday. I'm praying for some type of reassurance that everything is going ok. I opted to not go to CareNet for an ultrasound last week. I know they do free ones starting at 9 weeks but I really felt like it would make me more nervous than be comforting because then what? Would I feel I couldn't be content unless I have an ultrasound? I'm still feeling sick, still hungry, belly still growing as far as I can tell so at this point I just have to trust God and rest in His peace. He has been so faithful to give me that peace that surpasses all understanding and I will continue holding on to Him.  I also think it's comforting for me to just rest in Him. I literally have not control over what happens to this baby. I know before that would have caused anxiety and it may in the future, but it's really freeing for me. I can pray hard and trust God. 

One fun thing this week is we got our Sneak Peek DNA test back and it says we are having a boy. I was dissapointed for a bit and then I was just excited. Same thing happened with Eli. We've had to figure out a boy name though cause we didn't have any boy names. We had a girl name picked though. We know the boys name needs to have an "L" in it but not start with "L". I searched on Baby Center and that gave me 32,000 names to look through lol. We do have a couple top contenders but no solid decision. Ben and I don't agree on things too easily cause we are both so stubborn so when we find one we both like it usually sticks lol. 
Cravings: fruit and fresh stuff, pretty much anything that sounds appetizing at the moment I just eat it. Cause alot of stuff doesn't sound good but it changes everyday.