God works in mysterious ways

So it's the year 2020 the year that "Rona" came. At the beginning of 2020 I chose a word for the year like I do every year. This year God gave me the word "joy"; and because I'm me I instantly thought "oh great what trial is God going to allow me to endure where I have to have joy..." But I know that isn't what God's character is like. So I then thought well maybe He wants me to use the joy I have to bring joy to others like my family. Then Rona hit and it seemed like maybe having joy despite the hardships of being quarantined to my house with the boys and Ben for months was how I needed to have joy. But then something very unexpected happened. Just yesterday in fact. I found out I was pregnant....

Now at first I was like...WTH!? Totally not expecting that. But ok God what are you doing now?? So I immediately called Ben who was out of town at the time. He didn't even have a clue I had gotten a test. My period is usually early or right on time. So when it's a day late even I start wondering. And sure enough...the stick said "pregnant"...So anyways, when I called Ben he just started laughing...I was totally caught off guard. I thought he would be mad. We have been making plans for how we will do more together now that the boys are getting older and looking forward to our life as empty nesters...But then he laughed, and he said that he had been having dreams again about baby peanut and he wondered what it would have been like. Baby peanut would be 2 years old by now. But he said he didn't wonder enough to try to get pregnant...again, "try?" What is that...we've never tried for once in our lives...I know that that idea is probably really difficult for those who try for years to have a baby and are unable. I cannot begin to imagine the pain that causes. But that simply has not been our story.

But I feel a lot of peace this time. Last time I was so anxious and apprehensive and not at all prepared. This time I feel a lot of peace and joy. My attitude is going to be that I will love this baby each day that God allows, whether that be for days, weeks, months, or years. I'm also going to work on not getting too ahead of myself and doing a lot of "planning" because I think that's where a lot of my disappointment came last time. I'm not going to think ahead to what month or time of year I'll be 20 weeks, or any of that. I'm going to take it one day at a time. But I am thankful for this life and excited at the possibility of another baby. I trust God with His plan whatever it may be. And maybe it was for this to be the year of joy :)