I'm going to be transparent for a minute

I know I usually use my blog to document our lives and our family, and I rarely get too personal as to what I think and feel...that's just not my personality. But after reading what MckMama had to say last night I feel like I now have something to say.

When Ben and I first got married I think we always felt like our lives would start once he was out of school, and we had money and we would be living the American Dream. It's shallow I know...God slowly began to change my heart about what my life would look like when one day Ben said he felt like God had plans for his band to "make it big" and they would be out on the road spreading the Gospel...well I didn't like that idea because to me being on the road all the time and staying up late was not, "The American Dream". Ben basically told me, "Get on board or get out of the way". So after some tears I decided I'd be on board...and I need to trust God and his plan...not mine...well nothing much happened with that, and Ben was dissapointed and not sure exactly God was saying.

So more time goes by, Ben graduates with his Bachelor's and decides God wants him to go on to Grad School...Great! That means we'll be more financially secure down the road.

I start feeling that the Holy Spirit is leading me to not be on birth control and I never did enough research on it before I started taking it...you can read that story here...again...trust God!...Then SURPRISE we get pregnant with Kyle...not in our plan...though we're thrilled. Especially me cause all I've ever felt called to be is a stay-at-home mom. So Kyle comes, I quit my job, Ben is blessed enough with his job that I don't have to work outside the home. Again...trust God.

So life is going great...I'm getting back into shape and feel like myself again, I play tennis multiple times a week, loving being a mom. Kyle is so much fun then...SURPRISE...here comes #2...again...not our plan...but God's...this one took me a little longer to get used to it...but again we're thrilled...trust God.

Now backup to last year and I was doing a Bible Study on God leading the Israelites out of Egypt and to the Promised Land...by the end of the Bible Study I was really feeling that God was going to ask us to do something out of our comfort zone that was going to require us to have our trust and faith 100% in Him and His plan...

I still feel that way now...Ben is waiting to hear about a job offer from his current employer and he feels if he doesn't get it, he feels God might want us to go somewhere else and do something else...I find myself hoping he doesn't get the job...I now want to go on adventure for God...I don't feel called to overseas missions but who knows what else God might have for us. The possibility of having to leave everything we know and TRUST GOD is really exciting to me. Yes it's scary too. I've never lived anywhere else but here. But doing it for God and having to live moment by moment trusting Him and His provsion sounds awesome. But for now I'm learning how to do that here at home while we wait and see what God has planned.