I know my last post was about how overwhelmed I was. Over the past few weeks I'd been getting increasingly anxious and that turned into depression. I just thought I had PPD so I finally called my OB and asked for anti-depressants and started seeing a therapist. Well things got worse from there...alot worse. Last Sunday I woke up feeling horrible. I felt like my skin was crawling and I was hot but didn't have a fever, and had no appetite, and was nauseous, but the worst part was I was so jittery. I felt like I was on speed (though I've never done drugs). It was awful. I thought maybe I had a bad reaction to the anti-depressant so I stopped that. And thus started my week from hell. I felt like I was going insane.
By Tuesday I asked Ben to take me to the ER because I hadn't slept in 2 days because I would wake drenched in sweat and was lucky to get 2 hrs of sleep a night. I felt like I didn't want to live anymore. They gave me ambien to help me sleep which helped me get to sleep but if I woke up I couldn't go back to sleep and I started really stressing about not sleeping and trying to take care of Elias and feed him at night which made me sleep even less.
It got to the point I couldn't even take care of the kids during the day so my parents took them for the week.
Wednesday I called my Endocrinologist about what was going on and they had me get my bloodwork checked which came back Thursday that I have Hyperthyroidism. I have had nodules on my thyroid for years and last summer I woke up one morning with a golfball sized one but my bloodwork was always normal. Without getting too medical on you my TSH was been consistantly going down throughout my pregnancy but my T3 and T4 levels (the actual thyroid hormones) were always normal. So that was the answer to why I felt so horrible.
My Dr. gave me a Beta-blocker to treat some of the symptoms and I go back this week to figure out what they do now. Dealing with this disease is going to be a long, hard road.
I'm home now with my kids, though I don't feel much better and I'm still not sleeping much I'm relying on God to sustain me through this. Ben is having to really step up and help because I can hardly function. I know God is going to use this situation for good and He has a purpose. I still constantly struggle with being depressed over how my life has been turned upside down and how I feel like I'm a shell of a person right now but I'm comforted and thankful to know at least why I feel the way I do and trying to be patient as I wait for my treatment to start. I have to take it one day, sometimes one moment at a time and trust that God will get me through.
10 comments:
I am praying for you, Stephanie. I went through almost this exact same scenario after both of my boys were born. Be good to you & try not to be too hard on yourself. Try to take life down to just the necessities (eat, sleep, rest, & love on those guys in your life) and slow down for a while. :) mary
Praying for you Stephanie! :)
Praying for you Stephanie. How good of God to give you a diagnosis, so you don't just think you're going crazy. Praying for good & effective treatment and wisdom for the doctors.
OMG- how scary for all of you. I am glad you have some answers and am praying that you are able to start feeling like yourself again very soon.
Stephanie,
I will definitely be praying for you. I admire your bravery for being willing to talk about this out loud. You are an inspiration friend.
Oh Steph! I am praying for you. Health issues are no fun. Hang in there. Take good care of yourself...that is so important in order to be the wife and mother you want to be. Your boys are so blessed to have you.
Praying for you Stephanie! Remember you have a big support group and when you feel overwhelmed you just need to call them. Once they get you on the right treatment for your thyroid you will be feeling much better about life. Being a new mommy has it's own challenges. Being a mommy of 2 under 2, even more challenges. Being sick on top of that can be pretty overwhelming to say the least. Take care of yourself and let others help you.
Diane
Here from Kelly's Korner---you caught my eye! I was diagnosed with Graves Disease almost 2 years ago, I know exactly what you're going through. The thyroid affects EVERY part of your body!!! I'll be thinking of you, please feel free to contact me!
found you on Kelly's Korner- I had hyperthyroidism issues which led to goiter which led to thyroid cancer at 19 - luckily thyroid disorders are treatable, I pray your dr helps find what works for you - your thyroid affects sooo much!!! good luck to you and God bless!
Hi! I came over from Kelly's Korner. I had hyperthyroidism and some of those same symptoms. My doctor gave me a beta-blocker and PTU. I don't think you can breastfeed on those medicines. But, I decided to have my thyroid out and it was the best choice ever. I take synthroid everyday, but that's not a big deal. My thyroid problems are genetic and my mom had her thyroid out 34 years ago, my sister 2 years ago and me 4 years ago. Many people I know takes synthroid to boost their thyroid functions. A friend of mine who had Grave's Disease once told me that her doctor told her that 100 years ago, it was the people with thyroid problems who were admitted to mental hospitals (because then they didn't know all about the thyroid and how it affects EVERYTHING in our bodies). Hope you get relief soon.
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